its bothering me that already I'm approaching my 19th Birthday, because In the UK everything is leading up to being 18 when you can finally do just about anything legally.
now that landmarks reached it seems to be just be the long decay of time on me now until I finally keel over and go belly up. Anyway in this clearly positive frame of mind that I had, I started thinking about cool ways to die, and in a wierd way this relates back to a lot of my previous posts (Legacies, nostalgia, being 18 ect) so clearly I'm very limited in my writing capacity but oh well, it makes me feel better to write random shit like this down and make me feel like I'm summing up life for about 5 minutes before I stubb my toe in a horrific reality check moment or something like that.
So anyway, cool ways to die? If you think about it dieing is an absolute negative, so its a bit like saying cool ways to get cancer, or cool ways to get punched in the face. but still....
Well, Trotsky got tracked from Russia to Mexico by the KGB and killed with an ice pick, I've always thought that was impressive, and oddly enough my least favourite way to die was also from the KGB and that was the radioactive poisoning of Alexander Litvinenko.
many cultures say its glorious to die in battle but its never appealed to me, I'd rather die on my own terms and accept it before its coming, rather than get blitzkrieged going over the top of about 3 tons of mud thats worth a lot less than anyones life.
maybe this isnt even a blog post at all, I just havent done in so long that I thought it would be satisfactory just to blare what I'm thinking all over the internet. when I think about dying, I think about the film Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind because as in the film, I would like the end to be the beginning again so I could experiance life for ever. Theres also a wierd Gandalf bit from the Return of the King but thats a little sad.
I've never really understood suicide either, and especaily when it gets into the difference between self harm and suicide attempts, one of my very illogical self harming friends poem book that she carelessly left open once told me that the idea is that when blood flowing out of you, you know your alive, so suicide attempts to make you feel like your alive? Suicide is a peramant solution to a tempory problem, after all we are all going to die, why not cause havock in the game of life if your not happy?
at this point I'm not sure if my message is to take life to the fullest? or find a cool way to die?
Why couldn't it be both, just keep an ice pick handy just in case you really wanna feel alive.
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