Going in mental circles at Warp 9. wheres cloud gone? and hang on, Cloud 9? does it exist?

 It has come to my attention that due to a recent illness I've linked back to my first post in becoming a characterure.

The illness has me pretty much bed ridden so I've been forced to cook fast food, watch star trek, play pokemon on small handheld devices & play outdated playstation games like Dynasty Warriors 4 or Final Fantasy 7.

Myself playing a console as a feature in Pokemon Blue.
I Thought it summed up things well.

Ray Liotta Giving Fatherly Advice in "Blow"
I've always related to his character a lot more than any other in the film.

its true that I enjoy all of these things, And I've managed to have one big night out with friends at a local pub in the mean time, but one has to wonder, am I wasting my small amount of life. 

There is the arguement that anything you enjoy can't be a waste of time, then theres Ray Liotta's argument from 'Blow' about wasted talent, not that I'm saying I have any.

I do truly believe my body is telling me to do something responsible which is sad because I'm not one to do something predictable, I seek out the feelings and things that I wish to enjoy that I believe make me feel safe or accepted.

Marlon Brando
"Could've Been a Contender, Could've been Somebody"

It sounds a clich'e but I'll be very dissapointed if I find myself dying without doing something a bit different, but the fact thats happened to so many people already is testiment to fact that by default, humans want more than they can have.

I've recently had much feeling on the subject of getting a girlfriend but I remember the massive feelings of thinking for two and being trapped that I felt last time. But oh well.

A psychologist would probably say its normal for my age, and its just my Brains way of deciding how I'm going to be for the rest of my life and thats why I'm confused. But what do I know, I'm not a psychologist.

"Damnit Jim, Im a Doctor not a psychologist"

Zack Fair.
Executed.

I find my obsessions are once again creeping up, with last months mixture of Final Fantasy 7 (particuarily Cloud's Flashbacks and Zack Fair, and anything to do with Nibelheim) to a soundtrack of the latest Bombay Bicycle Club Album ("Bad Timing" & "Lights Out/Words Gone")

Spock, Kirk & Bones on the Bridge of the Enterprise.

Star Trek : the Original Series which I've enjoyed for sometime to the soundtrack of "She Wants" by Metronomy and "Olympic Airways" by the Foals is the latest, this is what I mean by wasted time. Truth betold though I'm bored of the Bar scene and I don't believe its helping anything, so Why dont I just enjoy the things I enjoy. The simplest equasion.

Mark from Peep Show did refer to it as "Gaddafis Law" mind, Jeremys face summs up my confusion perfectly.

Jeremy Of Peep Show.