A Word I understand to be Nostalgia

Recently, due to a bit of a rut in my life I've come to try and re-connect with things I loved from my childhood. this does not mean however that I've been walking around in baggy trousers or being the wierd older kid at the park.

I mean rather smells, sounds and sights that transport you back to that time of innocence and total protection. the time for the more abrupt learning experiances lack of experiance based confusion, however when I put it like that it doesnt sound to different to now.

Smells and sounds in particular are very powerful at reminding one of thier youth. mine include the smell of new rubber reminding me of my first pair of shoes & the smell of grass reminding me of boyful playing in fields in the village that I grew up.

The things I have done to reconnect have reminded me of my childhood, but they've also reminded me of how shite things are as of now, especaily as those things seem a lot less fulfilling. One example is playing Age Of Empires 2, The Conquerers Expansion. a game I loved as a child, and I have a wierd thing the first level of the Aztec campaign that reminds me of my brother and being happy.
Playing it earlier just reminded me that it was a game, although looking at certainly pixelated images did remind me of a much happier time. previous experiance tells me not to try and do the same nostalgic activity too much else you writhe the memory out of it and just create a new version of just you playing it trying to rememember things.

What instead did surprise me was the feeling of nostalgia I can incorporate from more recent feelings.

For example for the last few years I went through some fairly strange obsessions, which include.

1) Donnie Darko - I loved the dark theme of it, downloaded the soundtrack and listened to it in dark rooms.

2) Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas - I loved the idea that the world had once conquered bad things in the glorius time that was the 60's, I listened to the Youngbloods - Lets Get Together over and over again reading the book version and looking at pictures from Woodstock.

3) Garden State - I based my personality on the character of Andrew Largeman for about two years, and still do sometimes. I even bought a Blue hoody, and brown trousers like he wears in the mid part of the film.

4) Lev Yilmaz's Tales Of Mere Existance - I loved how relative it was to my own life, I downloaded all the the videos in mp3 form and listened to them in public places so I could judge Humanity.

to take one as an example, I re-read Fear & loathing recently and it reminded me of the warm feeling I used to get during that state of mind, and I allowed myself one listen of The Youngbloods song along with Sympathy for the Devil by the Rolling Stones, it was almost as if I was remembering my own personal time for the 60's (oh and how I wish I had been there)

In Conclusion, Current Affairs are less that appreciated, however Memories are the way.
and in a better summary.
I FUCKING MY CURRENT REALITY.